his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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