i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It's official drugs can't kill me
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
