Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
