I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
