Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
