At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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