Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I will be naked everywhere
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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