I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Please, let me fuck your mom
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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