The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
