I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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