Pappa wants mamma naked
he puts the penis in happiness.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
