i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
