dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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