I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
