Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
