Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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