Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
