He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
