Your face is a jimmy john
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
