i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Is it penis luge time yet?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
