apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
