That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Randomize
