I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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