There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
