Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
