just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
