Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
ttyl tear gas
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
