Are we in a gay sports bar?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
