She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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