We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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