I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We had to coat check the pizza.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
