"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
