happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
