1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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