Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
A bitchslap is in order.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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