ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
