i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You dont lie about slip and slides
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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