Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
