I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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