so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
