I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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