I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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