Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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