I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
