Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
