Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
