im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Green mimosas i think yes
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
