in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You've changed since you got that strap on
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
