and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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