God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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