Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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