Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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