Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
