of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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